Hating yourself means that you are not living a good life and you probably have been investing your love and self into someone else. The idea of loving yourself before someone can love you is not true and this is just something many people say because they want to not have to search for love, out of fear.
This also can make you feel shame because even if you do not love who you are, there is no finish line or reward for finding self-love and if you are in a relationship and your relationship is not working, chances are it is because not enough is being vested in it.
When your life changes, people around you change and no matter how much you have tried to improve yourself, it seems that you will never love yourself like you should because of different circumstances. Yes, you should always be better to yourself and maybe you no longer hate who you are but there will be times when you fall back into the self-hate based on false beliefs and scars that we carry.
It is not about loving yourself; it is about allowing yourself to love others. Instead of looking at how you can love yourself, learn to take better care of your life. Be careful what you eat, be active, surround yourself with people that speak positive things into your life. Until you die, you will never be able to love yourself enough or measure up to what you want to be.
When you get into a relationship, it shouldn’t be about who you are or how much you like yourself, but it should be about who you meet and where in life you meet them. Even more importantly, how much time do you want to invest in this person? This is something you have to change on the inside.
When you are where you want to be, you will love yourself more naturally and you will not allow others to treat you less than you want to be treated. You will care less about people accepting you and you will have friends that love you for who you are. You will learn to forgive yourself and know that you deserve a happy life, maybe even a better life. You will stop making goals that you cannot keep, and you will stop breaking promises you made with yourself. You will be in relationships that give you a good outlook and improve you.
The truth is, we love ourselves by the way that people love us and as we go through life, we are learning to direct our relationship with ourselves to who we are and we are meant to grow and to learn through the thoughts and treatment of others. We are not meant to be alone.
When you have a relationship that didn’t work out, of course you will need to take time to search your soul and to look inside. This does not mean you change your life; it just means that you learn new things and you look at the world differently.
Being in a healthy relationship means that you can make room for love because you are getting love from others and so you give yourself love as well.
When someone loves you, you become empowered and it is easier to see yourself in different light. No matter what you have done to change yourself, the more others love you, the more you can love who you are.
Loving your children, your spouse or your friends or family is different than the love that you have for yourself but it doesn’t mean that you do not love yourself it just means you are a person and that is what makes us mysterious.
Having healthy love and having someone value you and not judging you helps you to learn how to treat yourself. When you are in a bad or toxic relationship, it teaches you to not love who you are. That is why it is very important to be with someone that loves you and someone that will treat you right.
You do not have to love yourself for someone else to love you, but you should learn to like yourself. Make better choices in your life that can help you to have more self-love.