No one wants to be put in a position where they are confronted, and it can leave them feeling upset and awkward. There are things that you can do to earn respect for yourself in any relationship and this will help you to be able to set boundaries and stick up for yourself. This is important in regular life and in your career environment. It is important that you’re able to protect yourself mentally and to have confidence to be the best that you can be.
To keep your mental health strong, you have to be able to stand up for yourself. People can come along and can try and ruin your reputation and this can cause you to have little self-confident and to be less productive. By standing up for yourself you will see that you can be safe, and you can grow and be successful in all that you do.
Develop this skill and see that you can get comfortable in a way that you can stand up for yourself by knowing what to do and what to avoid.
When Should You Defend Yourself?
Some people are outgoing, and others are introverts. This can be because they are afraid of being rejected and they don’t want to stand up for themselves because they worry that they aren’t going to get the respect form others. The truth is, if you don’t learn to stick up for yourself then the respect that you want will be gone. Doing this will help you to mature and to grow.
Women sometimes have a problem setting healthy boundaries and this means that they often don’t stand up for themselves. This can happen because they learn this from childhood, but the truth is, standing up for yourself is a way to have power.
When you feel that things aren’t right or someone is putting you down or not taking what you say as serious, you might need to listen to your gut and stand up for what you need to say. Here are some prime reasons you might need to stand up for yourself:
- When someone says your name wrong.
- A person takes credit for something you do.
- Your boss is talking down to you.
- You are trying to get a promotion.
- You want to have a new salary and you are negotiating it.
- You don’t feel safe in your workspace.
Sometimes keeping the peace and not saying anything is the best but in these situations its worth you saying what you need to say to make sure that your boundaries aren’t crossed. You will need to communicate and show them that you are feeling a certain way. People will be more open to hearing you when you have open communication.
Body Language to Defend
Now that you’re ready to stand up for yourself, you need to learn how to say what you’re feeling in a healthy way. This can be hard, but you can do it. Stand up for yourself and see how your self-esteem will grow. The best thing that you can do is to express yourself to that person in a private way and start by taking a deep breath and by saying things like, “I feel,” instead of using “you” to blame them. Here are some of the best ways to communicate your feelings:
- Instead of saying, “You’re not respecting my boundaries,” say, “I don’t feel comfortable when you talk to me like that.”
- Instead of saying, “You make me shut down when you speak to me like that,” say, “I tend to shut down when you talk to me that way.”
When you’re talking to someone you need to make sure that you aren’t accusing them, or they will feel that you are attacking them. You have to stand up for yourself especially when someone is verbally attacking you or putting you down.
Stand up for yourself and remember that you need to tell them that they are crossing your boundaries. You aren’t attacking them, but you need to communicate in a non-aggressive way that you don’t appreciate, and you aren’t going to accept your boundaries being ignored.
When you have to confront someone, you need to make sure that you set your boundaries and you are firm with them. Stand up straight and show them that you mean what you say. Don’t cross your arms or clench your fists or you will come across like you are being aggressive or defensive. Make sure you notice your body language.
How to Confront Someone to be Successful
Here are some ways that you can confront someone successfully:
- Be Calm
You need to make sure that you’re staying calm when you’re saying what you’re feeling. If you’re upset, the best thing that you can do is write down what you’re feeling and why before you talk to the person about it.
- What Situation Bothers You
Know what situation is bothering you and make sure that you get your point across as to why you’re upset. Figure out why you feel how you do and if you’ve felt that way before. Do you have trauma that you’re carrying with you?
- How Have You Contributed to the Situation?
When your feelings are strong you might be someone that contributes to the problem. Make sure that you listen to what the person is saying back to you and see if you need to change some of your own actions.
- Your Feelings Matter
You’re a human being and that means that your feelings matter. Don’t let someone belittle your feelings and when you need to argue your point make sure that you are being strong and that you are taking your own feelings into consideration. You have a right to stand up for yourself when someone is being rude.
- Look at Your Own Perspective
When you get to the point that you need to stand up to yourself you want to have a healthy life. Make sure that you are showing the person your point of view and that you aren’t arguing with them. You will probably have different opinions than they do and that’s okay.
- Choose Your Battles Wisely
Stand up for yourself only when you need to. Don’t become one of those people that are always whining or being mad about something. If you’re being belittled or if you’re being mistreated, then these are good reasons to stand up for yourself. Don’t feel that you should stand up for yourself and go to HR each time someone says something to you though or you will look bad. There will be times when you should just hold your tongue and walk away. Know when those times come up.
